


unforgivable

by lolainslackss



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, Quidditch, Some angst, not another Hogwarts AU, slow burn? i don't know her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 06:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13048014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolainslackss/pseuds/lolainslackss
Summary: It was just his luck that by the time Neil Josten finally became a Gryffindor Chaser, the Slytherins had their best Keeper in decades.Thankfully, they've made a deal to help each other out.Or, Andrew and Neil each have a complicated relationship with magic, and a not-so-complicated relationship with each other.And Neil is hiding something. As usual.





	1. Just his Luck

_I troubled the shadows and silvered his edges._  
\- 'Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light', Richard Siken

  
_**Chapter One: Just his Luck**_

  
It was September and Hogwarts was cloaked in rain-drenched shades of orange and brown. Leaves, toad-speckled and golden, tumbled from the trees and collected in piles that were waiting to be kicked. The death-sweet scent of decaying flowers was written in the breeze.

  
It wasn't quite icy cold yet but there was a certain chill in the air that made Neil Josten's fingers cramp up around his quill. He was trying to concentrate on his first-week-back homework (Herbology and Potions), but was distracted by how quickly the season had seemed to shift. Only a few weeks ago it had been summer, balmy and sunkissed and maddening. Now the leaves fell and the sky was a perpetual ash-grey. Soon there'd be snow and sludge. How strange it was that time could pinwheel and pinwheel without anything really changing much at all. Neil sighed and tried to turn his attention back to his homework.

  
It was his fifth year, his O.W.L.s year, and he had to make sure he did well. Anything less would spell trouble in the long-run.

  
That said, O.W.L.s were surprisingly not his top priority. From where he was perched beneath the towering Scots Pine he cast a longing glance over to the Quidditch ground. The hoop-shaped goals peeked over the walls of the stands like a promise and a warning. Neil ran his tongue over his cracked lips and pulled his waning attention back to his homework once again.

  
He'd tried out every year since he'd come to Hogwarts (he hadn't found out about his magical abilities until he was way into what would have been his second year, so joined Hogwarts in his third). His first try-out had been horrible, since he didn't really know the sport at all. After devoting his entire third year and following summer holiday to practising, his fourth year try-out had been promising, but not good enough. The practising continued. He played casual games throughout the year with other enthusiasts, some who had made house teams, some who had not.

  
He was still waiting to hear back about fifth year.

  
Neil rolled up his parchment roughly and contemplated napping.

  
As he leaned back, feeling the knarled knots of the tree in the small of his back, he noticed three figures walking toward him, scarves of crimson and gold wound tightly around their necks. As they got closer Neil startled to attention.

  
Walking toward him were Matt Boyd and Allison Reynolds, the Gryffindor Beaters, flanked by Dan Wilds, Gryffindor captain and their best Chaser.

  
"You aren't seriously going to nap out here, are you?" Dan asked him in lieu of a greeting.

  
Neil shrugged, wondering whether he should stand up or not. He eventually got to his feet and brushed the dry leaves from his robes.

  
"You'll catch a cold, dumbass," Allison told him, flicking her mane of golden hair over her shoulder and eyeing him with disdain.

  
"Concerns for your health aside," Matt began, looking between the two girls. "We want to speak with you. We went to the common room but nobody seemed to have any idea where you'd be. It took us ages to find you."

  
"Pity you can't Accio that shit," Allison commented smoothly.

  
"We want to offer you a spot on the team," Dan cut in.

  
Neil felt his heart somersault down to his stomach. He instinctively raised a hand to cover his mouth. Excitement sometimes felt too similar to nausea for him to be confident he wouldn't throw up.

  
"You'll be our third Chaser," Dan continued.

  
"Are you sure he shouldn't be Seeker?" Allison asked, scrutinising Neil.

  
"He _is_ fast," Matt agreed.

  
"And small," Allison went on with a smirk.

  
"I'm not small," Neil said. "I want to be a Chaser."

  
"We know, ignore them," Dan told him, sighing.

  
Neil considered her.

  
"What do you say?" Dan went on, taking a step forward and holding out her hand.

  
"Definitely," Neil answered, meeting her warm palm with his own. "I mean, are you sure?"

  
"I've seen you try out three years in a row now," Dan replied with a smile. "Your improvement rate is unlike any I've ever seen. I can tell how much this means to you."

  
Neil nodded.

  
"But you know," Dan went on, casting a brief glance to her other two teammates, "this won't be an easy year. The Slytherin team is at its peak, performance-wise."

  
Neil knew this already and a knife of worry twisted itself into his bubble of excitement. It was just his luck that by the time he finally became a Gryffindor Chaser, the Slytherins had their best Keeper in decades. Andrew Minyard was tiny and fierce and unstoppable. He'd help secure Slytherin the Quidditch Cup three years in a row.

  
As well as having Minyard's impeccable Keeping skills, the Slytherin team also had three amazing Chasers: Kevin Day, Riko Moriyama and Seth Gordon. While Gordon wasn't much to worry about, Day and Moriyama had grown up living and breathing Quidditch. Adoptive brothers, they came from a family who were one of the main sponsors of the Quidditch World Cup. Neil didn't know much more about them other than that, but rumours circulated around Hogwarts that the Moriyamas were a powerful, pure-blood family, and that they had ties to the dark arts. Neil didn't listen to rumours outside of Quidditch gossip, but being a Muggle-born wizard, something unsettling coiled nastily inside him. Facing a team like that went way beyond typical Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry. He could find himself an easy target if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

  
"That going to be okay for you?" Matt prompted. "We're gonna practice like crazy and I know you've got O.W.L.s this year."

  
Neil considered Matt's concerns. He had just under three years left at Hogwarts: three years before he had to go home for good and play his part in the cruel, unforgivable future set up for him.

  
Succeeding academically was important in some respects but it didn't matter to him. All that mattered was Quidditch: the rush of wind that made his bones twitch as he dove towards the Quaffle, the bruising crashing of a Bludger into an unguarded shoulder, the warm pooling of pride that spread like blood as he earned his team precious points.

  
It made him forget who he was, forget all he would be.

  
"This is all that matters," Neil said evenly, making sure to look each of them in the eyes.

  
"Good," Dan replied with a grin. "We'll get your Quidditch robes sorted and see you at practice tomorrow. It's at 4pm, don't be late."

  
"Those snakes are going down," Allison added, slickly transforming her goodbye wave into a thumbs-down.

  
"They are," Neil agreed, nodding to her as they began to retreat towards the castle. "And thanks. I-"

  
They all turned on their heels to let him finish.

  
"I won't let you down," He finished.

  
Dan nodded once, firmly, and said, "I know you won't. That's why I chose you."

  
Neil watched them leave, Dan's hand intertwining with Matt's as the three of them relaxed into the easy chatter that came with years of friendship.

  
Neil relaxed into the familiar shape of the Scots Pine tree and allowed himself to feel envious for about half a minute before that excitement crept back up on him. He was going to play Quidditch. He was going to be part of the Gryffindor team. He smiled and sat back down to attempt his homework for the millionth time that afternoon.

  
He got nowhere, and he didn't care a bit.

  
...

  
The first practice was a horrorshow.

  
Neil wasn't sure if it was because they were rusty from relaxing all summer, because they were adjusting to new players on the team, or because Dan frightened them something fierce by letting them know their first game with Slytherin was only a couple of weeks away.

  
"I'm telling you this because I need you to be prepared," She shouted, hands on her hips. "We probably won't win, but we've got to show we've got enough bite in our jaw to keep them guessing. That means practising every single day. It means practising until we see Golden Snitches in our sleep, okay?"

  
Neil nodded along with the rest of the team. It was hard for him to fully concentrate on what she was saying, however, when the new red-and-gold robes felt so soft and delicate on his skin and his hand was gripped around a brand new broomstick.

  
Neil's parents had set him up a bank account, but they were Muggles, and it was up to him to go to Gringotts to convert the money (a process the Goblins found somewhat obscene). Neil hadn't found much he needed to spend it on, but when Matt had suggested spending Saturday finding Neil a suitable broomstick, Neil jumped at the chance to part with some of his parents' money.

  
Matt had been a little surprised when Neil had been so vocal about his opinions on the various models and brands, but it was such an easy topic of conversation for them that they chatted breezily for hours as they browsed. Neil left with not only an amazing new broomstick, but the vague sense that he and Matt could maybe be friends if they spent enough time together.

  
New broomstick and robes aside, Neil was spectacularly average when it came to practising. He'd practised so often by himself that he had never gotten used to playing with a team, so while he was a good shot, he got yelled at a lot for hogging the Quaffle.

  
Allison and Matt were also pretty merciless with the Bludgers when putting the Chasers through their training regime. Neil was quick enough to be able to dodge them but the effort that took meant that he was taking less opportunities to score. He had to learn not only how to pass to his teammates effectively, but to juggle multiple concerns at once. It didn't matter that he was fast and a good shot. There was so much still to learn.

  
All the while, the new Seeker, a timid-looking second-year, was having trouble finding the Snitch in the autumn fog. Two hours of practice down, the whole team was exhausted, and there still wasn't any sight of the Snitch. Eventually the whole team sat on the pitch as the rain fell down in hard, angry needles, looking up and searching for it. The new Seeker was almost in tears before Neil finally caught a glimpse of it, hovering beneath a thin cloud near the goal-posts. With a point of his finger, the Seeker was on his feet and away. Luckily for him, he caught it with ease. Though they were all tired and wet, Dan managed to get the team to cheer a little as the Snitch was put back to rest in the box.

  
Neil helped Allison collect the team's brooms and fasten them into their place in the broomshed.

  
"You think we're ready to face the Slytherins, little lion?" she teased, loosening her sodden robes from her shoulders to stretch.

  
"We will be," Neil replied, unsure of his own words, as he followed her to the locker rooms.

  
He pretended he'd forgotten something in the broomshed as his new teammates changed. By the time he returned, they were all finished and most likely wandering back to the common room. Neil changed out of his soaking robes and pulled on clean, warm clothes in the privacy of the empty locker room.

  
As he left, locking up behind him, he noticed Matt waiting at the edge of the grounds.

  
"You good?" Matt asked with a smile as Neil approached.

  
"You didn't have to wait for me," Neil told him.

  
Matt shrugged and cast a hot-air charm, signalling to Neil to keep close to him.

  
The heat emitting from the tip of Matt's wand warmed Neil's hands. For a moment he felt his muscles relax, and even felt his optimism blossom.

  
"We're gonna win," He told Matt as they reached the Gryffindor common room.

  
"Oh Neil," Matt replied. "Tell me that again when we're one hundred down and Minyard's laughing at you because you can't get a shot in."

  
Neil knew he was right, but he went to sleep dreaming of cheering.

  
...

  
It was late September and the trees clawed the white sky, skeleton hands. The wind was cold, and Neil's lips were more chapped than ever. He rubbed his hands together, in part to warm them up and in part to calm himself down. He peeked out at the empty Quidditch pitch and crowded stadium. There wasn't an empty seat out there. He sucked in a breath.

  
"Hey," Dan snapped at him, pushing a chocolate frog into his tense fingers. "Focus."

  
Neil's nerves had squashed his appetite but he forced the chocolate down anyway. Calories and sugar could only boost his performance, and he wanted to be as good as he could be.

  
Neil tried to focus on his teammates' chatter, but his mind was on the pitch. He could hear the crowd getting rowdy. He could hear the Slytherin's starting to sing:

  
_Getting a Quaffle past him if awfully hard,_

  
_He's the best of the best; he's Andrew Minyard!_

  
Neil pressed a hand to his chest, assessing his heartbeat. He was excited to play Quidditch, but he knew he wasn't good enough to face this current Slytherin team. Realistically, he might not even get any points. He had to try, though. He grit his teeth and tuned out the obnoxious song.

  
"If you get even ten points, it's a victory," Dan told him, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance.

  
"There's only one Andrew Minyard and there are three goals," Neil responded. "I think I can manage."

  
"Oh, Neil," Allison said, taking a break from swinging her bat forcefully through the air. "Your optimism is cute and all, but have you _seen_ Minyard play?"

  
"Yes, and he's incredible," Neil said through clenched teeth. "But surely he can be bested. I mean, we just have to try, right?"

  
Matt tapped his bat against Allison's lightly, and said, "Neil's right. Let's give them a show."

  
Dan nodded in appreciation. It can't have been easy losing to the Slytherins three years in a row, but she didn't cower or show any sign of defeat. Neil respected that, and could rally behind her.

  
Wymack, Hogwarts' flying instructor and Quidditch referee, entered their locker room.

  
"Gryffindors, it's time," Wymack told them, jerking his head towards the pitch. "I hope you're all ready," he added with a chuckle.

  
As Wymack gestured for them to follow him out, he told them that they were to make it clear they needed to go to Madame Winfield in the hospital wing if they were injured.

  
Neil was barely listening. As he and his team mounted their broomsticks he cast a glance to the air where the Slytherins were practising. Their silver-and-green robes shimmered in the late-afternoon sunlight. As Neil soared to their level, he could just make out Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama taking shots at the goal. Andrew Minyard was deflecting them with a bored expression on his face. Neil was surprised to see Moriyama growing frustrated at the lack of shots getting through. As one of Moriyama's shots soared through the goal, Minyard shrugged, inspecting his nails as he lay languidly on his broom, and Moriyama grinned.

  
Neil felt a shiver go through him. They were another level.

  
As the Gryffindor team approached, the Slytherins collectively turned on their broomsticks to assess them.

  
Neil looked from Moriyama to Day before his gaze settled on Minyard. Each of them regarded him such cold detachment he instantly felt like a Herbology specimen. He made the mistake of thinking that any fighting talk would occur once the game already begun. Riko glided towards Neil elegantly and smiled. Neil inhaled sharply. He knew a cruel smile when he saw one, and Riko's could draw blood.

  
"So," Riko began, and Neil noticed that Kevin, Seth, and Andrew had followed him forward slightly. " _This_ is what the Gryffindors resort to when they realise they haven't come close to winning anything in years."

  
Neil held his tongue as he regarded Riko, noticing that Matt, Dan and Allison had all rallied behind him.

  
Kevin leaned forward on his broom, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he too surveyed Neil.

  
"A _Mudblood_ ," Riko spat, his gaze sliding from Neil to Dan.

  
"Shut the fuck up, Riko," Matt snarled.

  
Neil let the insult wash over him like the rain. He'd heard worse. He let himself notice the rest of the team's reactions, however. As Riko flew away with his lips twisted into a scowl, Kevin and Seth each gave a bored laugh and followed. Andrew Minyard, however, seemed to glare at Riko as he passed. Neil looked at Andrew pointedly.

  
"A new Chaser," Andrew commented, as he noticed Neil was looking at him. "I hope you aren't as dull as the rest of them. Make this worth my time."

  
Before Neil could retort, Andrew was headed back to his goal-posts.

  
The next thing he knew, the whistle was blowing, shrill and urgent in his ears.

  
...

  
Dan had been right.

  
Ten points would have been a victory.

  
Neil failed to get the Quaffle anywhere near past Andrew. As the Slytherins' points grew, the Gryffindors' zero weighed heavily in his mind. He heard Dan swear under her breath as the Slytherins climbed to forty points. When they hit fifty, he was getting desperate.

  
He sucked in a breath and looked to their Seeker. If it was any consolation, the Slytherin Seeker looked equally oblivious.

  
The rain poured down and things didn't get any better.

  
As Neil had expected, Riko decided to target him with taunts when he was free of the Quaffle (which wasn't often, as much as it pained Neil to admit it). Neil _liked_ to think he was even-tempered but Riko was really grinding him down. He flipped Riko off a few times, but he knew if it continued he might end up throwing punches. Growing up Muggle-born, fists sometimes felt more comfortable than curses.

  
All the while, Andrew deflected his shots as if they were nothing. It was frustrating. It was impossible.

  
Eventually, the Slytherin Seeker got a clue and headed for the Snitch. That meant the Gryffindors lost with a devastating zero points to the Slytherins' impressive 200. At the very least, it was a short game, so the humiliation wasn't drawn out, Neil thought to himself as he clenched his fists around his broomstick.

  
As the Slytherins celebrated, Minyard drifted towards him and observed him with a casual stare.

  
"I thought I told you to make it worth my time," He said, tapping his fingers against his broomstick.

  
"Fuck off," Neil replied, avoiding his gaze. "I hate you."

  
" _Not_ very friendly," Andrew replied with a shrug. "Do keep practicing, won't you? A repeat of this would be embarrassing."

  
Neil responded by flying towards the locker rooms. His team seemed to be following him.

  
As they poured into the locker room nobody seemed to have anything to say.

  
"We'll get better," Dan said finally, through gritted teeth.

  
The rest of the team stalled, defeated, but most of them managed to nod in tentative agreement.

  
Neil slammed his locker shut and everyone turned to look at him.

  
"They're too good," He said quietly. "We need to be better. We need to practice more."

  
"We have Hufflepuff next," Dan said, her voice suddenly more gentle. "Let's focus on them first, hm?"

  
Neil hesitated, forgetting that the other two Hogwarts houses even existed for a second, before giving her a swift nod.

  
With that, he left the locker room to go shower in the privacy of his dormitory.

  
...

  
On Wednesday, after Potions class, Neil was intercepted by Andrew Minyard. He was leaning against the turret wall, staring into space. When Neil exited the classroom, Andrew met his eyes for a second, and then beckoned him to follow. Neil stared after him a moment before continuing down the stairs after the Slytherin Keeper.

  
When they reached an empty corridor, Andrew turned and waited. Neil caught up and folded his arms across his chest, waiting.

  
"You play like it's the only thing keeping you alive," Andrew said, barely addressing Neil directly. "Why?"

  
Neil shifted his arms and frowned.

  
"I'll rephrase," Andrew continued. "You're the only Chaser in ages who has _nearly_ gotten a shot in."

  
"That's not rephrasing," Neil pointed out.

  
"No," Andrew agreed. "You've just piqued my interest, that's all."

  
"What are you getting at?" Neil countered.

  
"I just think that with a few extra practice sessions you could actually be competition for me, which could be interesting," Andrew went on, placing a finger to his lips in mock consideration.

  
"Is that an offer?" Neil asked, sceptical.

  
"It could be a trade," Andrew replied.

  
"What do you want?" Neil asked, a cold trickling sensation dancing down his spine.

  
"I don't know if you know this about me but I'm not doing well in 'magic' lessons," Andrew said, as if it were the most unimportant thing in the world.

  
Neil hadn't heard that but he shrugged non-committedly.

  
"I could train you so that you might be in with the chance of getting a few goals past me," Andrew said, pointing at Neil, "and you could help me with my 'classwork'."

  
"What makes you think I'm good at schoolwork?" Neil asked, remaining still.

  
"This is your fifth year. You only just started Quidditch. You don't have any close friends. You must have spent some of the time doing your work like a good little boy," Andrew replied.

  
Neil bristled, but realised there was no malice behind Andrew's words.

  
"This is only my third year here," Neil replied darkly. " _Mudblood_ , remember?"

  
"Tomorrow night, 9pm," Andrew propositioned. "What do you say?"

  
Neil stared into Andrew's bored hazel eyes and realised he was at a turning point. Two paths diverged from this point in his life. Unlike so many other choices, this one was his to make. _And it could make a difference_ , he thought, digging his fingers into his palms, _he could teach me how to bring Dan's team to victory_.

  
"Tomorrow night," Neil said with a firm nod. "Tomorrow night you'll teach me how to be a better player."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo! another AFTG hp/Hogwarts/quidditch AU! (groan? cheer? idk?) I've purposely avoided reading these because I've had this being a pain in my brain and I need to get it out. i'm so sorry if I repeat anyone's Hogwarts AU ideas. but i'm very excited about all my plans for this.
> 
> also! I haven't read hp since like 2010 so i'm sorry if facts don't measure up but also I don't care lol
> 
> edit 18/12: I probably should have mentioned that I took all the characters' sortings from Nora's tumblr. she has a post where she sorts all the characters. I really liked how she did it, and it worked so well for what I had planned! you'll see where nicky, renee and aaron all are later ;)


	2. Brooms and Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil practice, study, and ignore the Hogwarts curfew.

_**Chapter Two: Brooms and Rooms** _

It was 9pm and the navy-dark blue of the sky shifted above him, the moon a thin, sharp crescent that poked out from behind the silvery wisps of cloud and mist. His Quidditch robes protected him from the creeping chill of the autumn breeze, but Neil ached for the overwhelming warmth of a run. Quidditch was a really fun sport, and flying was amazing, but sometimes Neil missed the exhaustion that came from _really_ exerting himself. Whenever he was home in Baltimore he ran until his lungs burned and his legs quivered. But Baltimore was an ocean away and he wouldn't think about it, not now. He contemplated taking a few quick laps around the Quidditch pitch before Andrew arrived but before he could really commit to the idea, his new Quidditch practice partner emerged from the locker room and stalked past him towards the goal-posts, already clad in his emerald-green Quidditch robes and with a Quaffle in one hand and a broomstick in the other.

Neil hurried to his feet and grabbed his broomstick from where it lay on the grass.

"Up," Andrew commented, pointing skywards.

"Yeah, I think I remember," Neil said sourly, mounting his broomstick and following Andrew upwards.

When they reached the goal-posts Andrew roughly tossed him the Quaffle. Neil caught it and scowled at Andrew. Andrew raised his eyebrows and it was an invitation, a challenge.

"Is there going to be any instruction?" Neil asked, "Or do I just keep going until I can score on you?"

"The latter," Andrew said, as if it were obvious.

Neil swayed a little on his broom, feeling awkward. He knew he wasn't good enough to score past Andrew, so such an exercise would be pretty embarrassing. However, the more he played against Andrew one-on-one like this, the more he'd get to know the Keeper's moves. For now, it was a start.

Neil started off pretty badly, with Andrew easily predicting which of the three goal-posts he was aiming for, and deflecting the Quaffle back at him effortlessly. Frustrated, and endlessly impressed by Andrew's skills, Neil began to step it up. Speed was his strength, and he needed to use it.

Once he started moving a little quicker, it seemed Andrew found it a tiny bit trickier to get to the Quaffle on time, but he still managed to bat away all of Neil's attempted goals. Neil gritted his teeth. He and Andrew had barely spoken a word to each other all evening but their eyes kept finding each other across the Quidditch pitch. Neil struggled to read Andrew's intense gaze. It said, _you'll never be able to do this._ It said, _try harder, you're almost there_. It said nothing at all. Neil swore under his breath as the Quaffle hit him square in the chest.

"You know," Andrew drawled, "Ordinarily there would be a Bludger distracting you too. Next time I'll set up a rogue one,"

"You know how to do that?" Neil asked, "Sounds pretty dangerous,"

Andrew raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "It'll be more realistic,"

"Whatever," Neil said, misinterpreting Andrew's sudden chatty side as distraction and aiming a quick shot at the furthest away goal-post. Andrew blocked it, but if he'd been a second slower it would have gone through.

"Nearly," Andrew said, and Neil didn't know if it was a victory or not.

Neil decided to try a different tactic and attempted bluffing: pretending he was aiming for one goal all the while he was going to take a shot at another. Unsurprisingly, that didn't work either. Andrew scoffed.

Neil shrugged and went back to playing speedily. After a dozen or so more blocked shots, it finally happened. He was just quick enough in tossing the Quaffle as soon as it was returned to him, and it soared through the goal before Andrew could reach it.

Andrew watched it pass by him and his expression betrayed nothing.

Neil grinned at him, triumphant, but Andrew didn't return it.

"We're done for the day," Andrew said, and began to fly towards the ground.

"Hey," Neil called, soaring after him, "What are you talking about? We're just getting started,"

"We've been playing for about an hour and a half," Andrew retorted, "And you completed your task for the day,"

"Which was?" Neil asked as his feet hit the floor.

"You scored," Andrew said drily, "Congratulations,"

Neil couldn't really tell if Andrew was fucking with him or not. Instead of trying to figure it out he went to retrieve the Quaffle as Andrew headed into the Slytherin locker room.

Neil went quietly into the empty Gryffindor locker room to change and shower. It felt good not to have to pretend to anyone else that he was busy just so that he didn't have to change in front of anyone. The showers, he did find, were private enough, having separate stalls. The boys' changing room, however, was communal. He could work around that for as long as he needed to. Tonight, he didn't have to worry.

When he left , Andrew was nowhere to be seen. He loitered outside the Slytherin locker room for a couple of minutes before realising it was silent and presumably empty. He went to put his broom in the broomshed instead.

Andrew was leaning against the wall in his school robes, tie undone, cradling a tiny flask in his hands.

Neil walked past him to go into the shed and tucked his broom back in its spot. When he came back out, Andrew had wandered around to the back of the broomshed and was now crouching on the grass, back against the wall.

"I thought we were going to study," Neil prompted, suppressing a sigh.

"We are," Andrew said, "I'm just preparing myself for the impending boredom,"

With that he took a swig from the flask.

"Butterbeer?" Neil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Firewhisky," Andrew muttered, holding the flask out towards Neil, "Want some?"

"I'm good," Neil replied stiffly.

Andrew shrugged and brought the flask up to his lips again to take another sip. He swallowed and breathed out. His breath was a white mist in the cold. He looked up at Neil and got to his feet.

"Okay, let's go," He said, tucking the flask into his robes next to his wand.

They walked across the grounds and into Hogwarts in silence. Technically they were supposed to be in their respective common rooms by this time of night but Neil was pretty certain Andrew didn't care at all about curfews. He did wonder where they were going to study, though. All the houses were territorial to a degree, but Gryffindors and Slytherins didn't particularly like the presence of the other in their space. That, and Neil's uncertainty about whether what they were doing should be kept secret or not, meant that the common rooms were out. Andrew didn't say anything and Neil continued to follow him.

By the time they reached the seventh floor, Neil was once again beginning to think Andrew was fucking with him. When Andrew started pacing, he was even more certain of it. Then, a door appeared, and Andrew opened it, letting it swing open as he looked back at Neil. A door appearing was not the strangest thing Neil had ever seen at Hogwarts so he accepted it pretty easily and followed Andrew inside.

The room was small and cosy. A small fire crackled in a hearth and a desk set up for two rested near it. There were two cups of hot chocolate on the desk, and two blankets draped over the chairs.

"Where are we?" Neil asked, wondering briefly how the room got set up in such a way.

"It's the Room of Requirement," Andrew replied, sitting down, "I come here sometimes,"

_Room of Requirement_. Neil had heard of it in passing, but hadn't spoken to anyone who'd ever found it or used it.

Neil didn't ask any more questions and joined Andrew at the desk. He sipped the hot chocolate and must have pulled a face because Andrew looked at him and said, "Too sweet?"

"A bit," Neil said, drinking it anyway.

Andrew spiked his hot chocolate with the Firewhisky and drank it in tiny sips, pulling the blanket over his shoulders.

"What do you want to start with?" Neil asked.

"Doesn't matter," Andrew answered, "I hate all of it so none of it is any better than the rest,"

"Care of Magical Creatures?" Neil suggested weakly.

They studied for around an hour before they both started to feel sleepy. As they weren't very productive, what with Andrew refusing to learn and Neil not really excelling at the teaching part, they decided to meet again the next afternoon when they both happened to be free, and potentially more awake.

"Library, 4pm," Andrew said, yawning into his fist.

"I got it, I got it," Neil said, pulling the blanket off his lap, "You help me score, I help you out with your marks. You know you'll actually have to put in a bit of effort though, right?"

"I just need to get by," Andrew replied, moving to leave.

Neil rolled his eyes and followed Andrew out. The door vanished behind them. Neil cast _Lumos_ and they snuck back to their common rooms in silence and they didn't say _goodnight_ or _see you later_ or even anything at all, but Neil watched as Andrew disappeared into the shadows of the corridor.

Later, in bed, Neil thought about how he'd finally scored a goal against Andrew, and then he thought about why Andrew had decided to help him practice in the first place, and then he thought about the bittersweet aftertaste of the hot chocolate on his tongue, and then finally he thought of nothing at all as he drifted away into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short wee chapter to keep this going. (the chapter plans I have for this just aren't working out because I wanna stuff so much into them and they'd just end up sooo long haha.)
> 
> I am still SO excited about this story and wanna write it all the time. (i'm busy busy busy but it's a top priority.)
> 
> thank you so much for your kind comments!


	3. Library Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Andrew try to get some studying done but are interrupted by Aaron and Nicky.

Neil was surprised to see Andrew was already sitting at an empty table, waiting for him, when he got to the library at 4pm the next day.

Neil sat down and upended his bag on the table. Various scrolls of parchment cascaded onto the table.

"I have no idea how to teach you any of this," He admitted, "Just pick one at random and we'll give it a go,"

Andrew's lip twitched slightly, as if he were suppressing a smirk or a scowl.

"And choose quickly," Neil went on, when Andrew remained completely still, "I have practice at 6,"

"And then practice again, with me, at 10," Andrew said finally, his tone unnervingly light, "Such a busy bee, Neil,"

Neil rolled his eyes as Andrew started shuffling the papers in front of him into some kind of order. Neil took a glance around the library. He blinked when he saw who was sitting a few tables away from them, partially obscured by a bookcase.

"Did you sit here just so we could spy on your twin?" Neil said, not taking his eyes off Aaron Minyard. Aaron was sat across the library from them, carefully jotting down notes, and occasionally pausing to check an answer with the girl sitting next to him. Neil knew who Aaron was, of course - he'd joined the Ravenclaw team as a Beater around the same time Andrew had become the Slytherin Keeper, though he was nowhere near as mesmerising a player as his twin brother was.

"Hardly," Andrew replied, not bothering to look up, "He's here all the time, so it's inevitable we have to see his stupid face,"

"You do realise _his_ stupid face is _your_ stupid face, right?" Neil asked.

"Neil," Andrew said, lacing a firm hand through Neil's hair and sharply jerking Neil's head sideways so that he was looking at Aaron again, "Do I look like that to you?"

Neil took in the studious expression on Aaron's face, the careful precision with which he observed the open book in front of him, returned his quill to the parchment to scribble a note, all the while trying to ignore Andrew's fingertips, which were now digging into his scalp.

As if he could _feel_ them watching him, Aaron suddenly jerked upright in his seat and looked over at them. Neil felt Andrew's fingers untangle from his hair as Andrew leant back to relax in his seat. Meanwhile, Aaron Minyard got up and started storming toward them.

"What are you doing?" Aaron asked, folding his arms over his Ravenclaw robes and glaring at Neil and Andrew.

Andrew ignored him and returned to flipping through Neil's notes.

"Why are you hanging out with the shitty Gryffindor Chaser?" Aaron persisted, gesturing to Neil.

"Says the worst Beater in the entire school," Neil fired back immediately.

"Oh yeah?" Aaron snapped, "Let me know when you score some points, asshole. That is what you're supposed to be doing when you're up there, you know?"

"As long as you let me know when one of your Bludgers actually manages to hit something," Neil countered, "That's why they gave you a bat, in case you were confused,"

Aaron scowled and turned on his heel, marching back to his table. The girl he was studying with was waiting with a concerned look on her face. Neil watched Aaron mutter something to her before they both turned their attention back to their studying.

Andrew didn't say anything but reached into his own bag to pull out a blank scroll and a quill.

"Transfiguration," Andrew said eventually.

Neil groaned and started searching through the mess of scrolls for his most recent Transfiguration notes.

"I suck at that too," Neil admitted, gazing at the jumble of words staring back at him.

"Doesn't matter," Andrew replied evenly, "You're getting by. I just need to get by too,"

"You keep saying that," Neil said, letting out an exasperated sigh, "Why choose me for this? My grades aren't that much better than yours,"

"Don't care," Andrew told him blankly, batting the feather of his quill against the table.

"But-" Neil began to protest.

"What else could you possibly offer me in return for helping you get better at scoring goals?" Andrew asked him drily.

Neil huffed, and started shoving his other scrolls back into his bag, clearing some space.

"I saw your mark on your most recent Defence Against the Dark Arts essay," Andrew went on.

Neil shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"You're good at it," Andrew remarked, almost casually.

"I'm not bad," Neil agreed, "You?"

Andrew shrugged, "It's the only subject here that seems even a little bit worthy of my time,"

"But you're going to fail Transfiguration," Neil said pointedly, changing the subject, "So I'll go get some textbooks we can look at,"

Neil stood up and wandered quickly down one of the aisles, running his hand across the spines of the books as he went, breathing in deeply. The dusty, musky scent of the old books filled his nose and grounded him. He wasn't sure why he felt so spooked all of a sudden. Andrew just set him on edge, he guessed.

Andrew _said_ that he needed Neil's help to get by with his classwork, and was offering Neil the chance to get better at being a Chaser in return. This made sense. Andrew got bored easily, and playing games that he knew he'd win easily was probably pretty dull for him. That said, Neil couldn't help feel like there was more going on.

It was all to do with how Andrew looked at him: looked at him like he could see underneath his skin, see all the tension that was slowly, quietly, simmering away there, like he could see all the terror that crawled, spider-like, through his veins. Neil turned the corner and found the Transfiguration books. He leant against the shelves, feeling the ridges of the book spines against his back. He sighed, and wondered if Andrew could see the other stuff too: the helplessness, and the loneliness.

Once he felt whole again, he picked up a couple of books. It was beginners' stuff mostly, made for first and second years, but Neil didn't care and hoped Andrew wouldn't either. Neil did okay in class, because he had a lot of time to himself to study, but then again he _did_ miss the first two years of Hogwarts and he hadn't come from a magical household. Even after studying magic for a couple of years, he still felt like a beginner, like he would never catch up. This was especially true for the trickier subjects like Transfiguration. Maybe he and Andrew could improve together, he thought, as he made his way back over to the table.

Neil was surprised to see Andrew wasn't alone. Andrew was glaring at a boy in Hufflepuff robes. He was tall, with a mess of black curls, and a dark, caramel complexion. As Neil approached, the boy startled at his presence. He looked shocked, at first, and then his lips stretched into a wide grin. Neil instantly recognised him as Nicky Hemmick, the Hufflepuff Beater.

"Neil!" Nicky exclaimed, as Neil rested the Transfiguration books on the table, "We were just talking about you!"

"No," Andrew said warningly, "We weren't,"

"You're the newest Gryffindor Chaser, right?" Nicky went on, ignoring Andrew, "I'm Nicky, Aaron and Andrew's cousin,"

Neil sat down in his seat, feeling a bit surprised. That was a detail he wasn't aware of. He wondered how someone as warm and friendly as Nicky could be related to Aaron and Andrew.

"Go away," Andrew told Nicky.

"No fair," Nicky said, leaning down on the table with his hands crossed beneath his chin, staring at Neil, "So you guys are friends, huh?"

"No," Andrew and Neil said at the same, much to Nicky's delight.

"You know you're playing against us this Saturday?" Nicky asked Neil, "You think you're gonna score this time?"

"Against Walker?" Neil wondered out loud, "Shouldn't be a problem,"

Renee Walker was the Hufflepuff Keeper, and she was good. She wasn't as good as Andrew, though, and luckily, Andrew and Neil would have quite a few practices before the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor game. Neil wasn't worried.

"You shouldn't underestimate Renee," Andrew said, flipping through one of the books Neil had fetched with a disinterested look on his face.

"True," Nicky said thoughtfully, "But I guess we'll see! It'll be fun, right? I'm looking forward to it,"

"Yeah," Neil agreed with a small, awkward smile, "Me too,"

"You're too cute," Nicky said, smiling back, "Sorry for interrupting your study date,"

"It's not a date," Neil and Andrew protested in unison.

Nicky smirked.

"If you're not going to go away," Andrew said, standing up, "Then I am,"

"We're studying," Neil reminded him.

"Yeah, we're getting so much done," Andrew said sarcastically, before yawning into his fist, "I'd rather take a nap before our practice,"

"You guys are practising together?" Nicky cried excitedly, his eyes widening.

Andrew shot him one last glare before waving a hand in dismissal and heading for the exit.

Nicky watched him leave and then walked around Neil to sit in Andrew's empty seat.

"Tell all," He ordered, looking at Neil seriously.

"What do you mean?" Neil asked.

"You guys are studying together? _Practising_ together?" Nicky continued.

"I'm helping him out with some classwork and he's giving me a few Quidditch pointers," Neil mumbled, "It's not like it's a big deal,"

"Except Andrew doesn't usually give private Quidditch lessons," Nicky pointed out, "And he certainly doesn't care about lessons,"

"Yeah," Neil agreed, "What's with that?"

"Long story," Nicky answered, his smile fading slightly.

"What's the short version?" Neil pressed.

"Let's just say there's nothing Andrew hates more than magic," Nicky replied.

Neil noticed that Nicky's gaze turned to Aaron for a second, before he once again focused all of his attention on Neil.

"I'm glad you're trying to help him out," He said, sincerely.

"I didn't know you guys were cousins," Neil went on, unsure of why he was pursuing this particular train of thought.

"Ah, the accent, right?" Nicky replied, grinning. Neil was one of the few American students at Hogwarts. Aaron and Andrew were the only others he'd encountered who'd had similar accents to his own. Nicky's, however, was as British as they came.

"My family moved here when I was quite young, but I was born in Columbia," Nicky explained, "Aaron and Andrew grew up there, but their mother- she died in... in an accident, quite a few years ago. They came to stay with us that summer, and they both started here that September,"

"Right," Neil responded, unsure of what to say.

"Anyway," Nicky said, flashing Neil a cheery smile, "You've got practice soon, right? I won't keep you,"

"Yeah," Neil replied as Nicky stood up, "Thanks,"

"Guess I'll see you on Saturday," Nicky called as he left, "For the big game,"

"Yeah," Neil said, "See you,"

 _Good time for a Minyard-Hemmick family reunion_ , Neil thought, as he started to gather his things. He wondered if he and Andrew would ever actually get any studying done.

Neil took the time to put the library books back on their shelves before heading to the Quidditch pitch early to warm up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that was just like... a lot of dialogue
> 
> this story is still my dream... and I am sorry for not updating sooner but xmas/new year were so busy for me and then I wrote a bunch of other stuff bc I can't be tamed.
> 
> ((also i drank like two beers while writing/editing this. sorry for any subsequent typos.))
> 
> please talk to me on [tumblr](http://palmetttos.tumblr.com/)


	4. A Boggart in the Broomshed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff, a party, and an unpleasant end to a Long Day.

Saturday came around, a charmed day. Though the air was crisp and chill-ridden, the sun bore down, cutting through the wisps of cloud that littered the pale-blue sky. It was perfect Quidditch weather. Neil thought as much as he pulled on his heavy leather gloves and stepped onto the pitch. Goosebumps prickled across his arms when he heard the roaring cheers coming from the Gryffindor stands. Neil grinned as he mounted his broomstick and headed skyward. He had a good feeling about the match with Hufflepuff.

Nicky gave him a friendly wave as the players congregated in the air. Neil nodded to Andrew's cousin and then glanced towards Renee. Yellow-and-black streaks were dyed into the ends of the Keeper's silver-white hair. She caught Neil's eye and regarded him for a second before offering a small smile.

Allison bumped her broom against his own, drawing his attention away from the Hufflepuff team. He watched as Dan called 'heads' for the coin toss and Wymack flicked a galleon into the air.

"Heads it is," Wymack shouted, "Gryffindor to start,"

"Get it done, wee one," Dan told Neil as she slipped him the Quaffle.

Then the whistle was shrieking and they were off. Neil immediately zipped towards the Hufflepuff goalposts. Renee was already on-guard. As Neil made his way towards the left hoop, Renee followed him easily, but then he zoomed towards the right hoop and tossed the Quaffle through it. His training with Andrew had taught him that his speed was his best asset. It was already paying off.

"Only thirty seconds in and Gryffindor already have ten points!" Neil heard the commentator's voice echo around the stadium.

He had a couple of seconds to remain still, take in what felt like a very tiny victory, before he was narrowly dodging the Bludger that the other Hufflepuff Beater was sending his way.

"Stop dicking about, Josten," Allison called out to him, "You can celebrate later,"

Neil scowled, then immediately perked up when he saw Allison had the Quaffle. She must have flew around when he had scored and retrieved it from the other side of the goal.

Allison glided towards the goal-posts and hurled the Quaffle at the top goal. Renee just swiped it out of the way with the tips of her fingers. A Hufflepuff Chaser soared past and grabbed it, before taking off towards the other end.

"Having fun yet?" Allison asked Neil.

"Ask me that after we've won," Neil called back as the two of them took off after the Chaser.

 

...

 

Gryffindor were triumphant.

"Obviously," Allison said, re-tying her golden hair into a perfect pony-tail, "We're much better than them,"

"Not obviously," Dan snapped, "They were nearing us on points when we got the Snitch,"

"Alright, don't go completely mental," Allison replied, glaring at Dan, "We won, didn't we?"

"We're the bloody best," Matt exclaimed, slapping Neil on the back so hard he nearly winded him, "Neil, you were absolutely ace up there!"

"You were great," Dan agreed, "More focused, yet still fast as anything!"

"I've just been practising a lot," Neil replied awkwardly. He still wasn't sure whether or not he should tell his teammates he was practising with Andrew.

"Keep it up and we'll definitely beat the Slytherins this year!" Dan went on proudly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"You got it," Neil assured her.

As his teammates went to their respective dressing rooms to change, Neil went outside to linger by himself. He wandered away from the Gryffindor changing rooms and rested against the wooden slats of the broomshed. He breathed in deep.

He had scored seventy points in the match.

Seventy whole points.

_Enough_ , he thought, _that was enough_. It was enough just to be able to play, to fly and to pass and to dodge.

It was enough for him to forget, just for an hour, what was out there, waiting for him. It was enough to forget what he'd have to change into, what he'd have to _do_ , in just a couple of years.

Neil shook his head, banishing the thoughts that had crept into his head like dogs snapping at his ankles. He wouldn't think about any of that just now, not after they'd just won their first match of the school year. Neil buried his head in his hands and counted to ten, breathing in and breathing out, until he felt the shadows lift. Once his hands had stopped shaking, he stole a glance at the changing rooms and noticed his teammates had started filing out.

"I was just putting my broom away," He said, as breezily as he could manage, walking past them, "Be out in a second,"

"Hurry up," Allison ordered as he passed, "We've got celebrating to do,"

 

...

 

It turned out that the last time Allison had been to Hogsmeade she had smuggled out some ale, Butterbeer, and two whole bottles of Firewhisky. As well as this, she had a stash of the best sweets from Honeydukes. The team took over the common room, which had been decorated with countless red and gold streamers and banners emblazoned with roaring lions following their triumph. The floor was covered with shimmery bits of golden confetti; Neil could make out the tiny snitches and broomsticks when he looked closely.

The celebration party kicked off with the team singing various Gryffindor team songs and chants. As Matt lead the rowdy choir, Neil was handed a Butterbeer by Dan. Despite the minimal alcohol content, Neil nursed the bottle in his hands for the majority of the evening, sipping it only occasionally. Eventually he'd have to sneak away to meet Andrew for practice, and there was no way he was going to be even mildly tipsy around Andrew.

After a few hours Neil found himself dragged into a game of Exploding Snap in which the person whose cards exploded had to do a forfeit. It was around the time that eating five Puking Pastilles became the forfeit that Neil nonchalantly slipped out of the room. Everyone was pretty tipsy by this point, so he hoped they wouldn't notice or ask awkward questions.

When he pushed against the Fat Lady's portrait, however, he felt definite resistance. After giving it a few more shoves, there came a mumbled 'sorry' from the other side and the portrait swung open. Neil then came face-to-face with Dan and Matt, who were making out in the corridor.

"Whoops, got a bit carried away there," Matt explained to Neil, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.

"Don't worry about it," Neil replied, moving past them.

"Where are you going?" Dan demanded, one hand on her hip, "We just won the match. You're supposed to be celebrating,"

"Oh, you know, I just need some air," Neil lied.

"Feeling a little spewy?" Matt asked, "Allison's booze stash will do that to you,"

"Yeah," Neil agreed, "I'll see you later on,"

He decided they'd probably be too concerned with kissing each other to notice him being gone for a couple of hours.

_If they do, I'll make something up_ , Neil thought as he sped up into a jog.

He was running late.

 

...

 

Andrew was already waiting for him when he got to the Quidditch pitch. He was in his Slytherin Quidditch robes, the silver of which glinted in the moonlight. He was lying on his back in the dark grass, smoking a cigarette. The smoke curled into the air as he exhaled. Every breath sounded like a sigh. Neil ran up to him.

"Late," Andrew stated without looking his way.

"Party," Neil explained.

Andrew tossed his cigarette and stood up. Neil watched the still-lit end bounce across the grass and raised an eyebrow.

"You're not going to make it disappear?" Neil asked Andrew.

"Nope," Andrew replied, picking up his broom.

" _Evanesco_ ," Neil muttered. The cigarette and its trailing smoke vanished.

"Such a concerned citizen," Andrew remarked drily, "Get your things,"

Neil waved a hand dismissively as he jogged towards the broomshed.

He pushed open the door and made his way inside. The only light came from the moon that shone palely through the wooden slats. As Neil reached for his wand to cast _Lumos_ , he heard something scuttle quickly towards the far corner of the shed. Neil stilled. Whatever had made the noise then rattled along the beams, an unknowable shadow.

Then, his father was standing in the middle of the broomshed.

Neil felt a fist curl around his heart and yank it up through his throat.

A man appeared at his father's feet. His father began cutting him with a cleaver - purposely shallow cuts that would sting, at first, and then deeper gashes.

Neil frantically tried to suck in a breath.

His head told him: _boggart_. His entire body told him: _runrunrun_. But he acted upon neither. Fear violently clawed through his body, rooting him to the spot. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe.

Then, his father disappeared, and Neil watched as another figure stepped forward to stand above the bleeding man. Neil stumbled to the floor. The other figure was himself.

Neil watched as this other-Neil ignored the man's pleas, his eyes blue and shining and cruel. The other-Neil raised his wand, and the bleeding man began to writhe on the floor, his body contorting into twisted shapes.

Finally, there was a flash of green light, and the man's body went limp. Neil's father once again stepped forward, resting a hand on the other-Neil's shoulder.

Neil was still hardly breathing. He remembered the spell. It echoed in his head: _riddikulus, riddikulus, riddikulus_. He knew he was supposed to turn it into something absurd, such a thing felt impossible to him.

He was shocked into silence by what he'd just saw. His fingers scrambled against the wood as he tried to push himself up. Another terrified person appeared at the feet of his father and the other-him. They looked at each other. They were going to take turns now.

He couldn't take his eyes off what was happening, until Andrew entered. Andrew stormed into the shed and stood in front of Neil, his robes obscuring the view. Neil couldn't see what the boggart morphed into, could only watch the back of Andrew's head as Andrew raised his wand and cast _riddikulus_. Neil squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the smacking sound of the boggart changing, assumed Andrew must have let out a huff of laughter as the shed quietened. All was silent but for his heart hammering in his chest.

Andrew turned to look at him.

"What the fuck, Neil?" Andrew asked, though he didn't look as annoyed as he sounded, "It was only a boggart. Not real."

Neil attempted a nod.

Andrew tangled his hands in Neil's robes and pulled him to his feet.

"I- I told you I wasn't the best choice for a tutor," Neil managed as he tried to get his breathing to return to normal.

Andrew opened his mouth as if to say more, but stopped himself. Neil knew Andrew had seen what form his boggart had taken, and wondered if he'd ask about it. He'd worry about that later. For now, all he could do was feel, well, _thankful_ , towards Andrew. Andrew had used magic even though he hated magic, just to chase the shadows away.

Neil looked at Andrew's hands, which were still holding on to him. He felt the sudden urge to lean against Andrew's sturdiness, and to rest.

Andrew narrowed his eyebrows slightly as he tried to read Neil's expression and then dropped his hands to his sides.

Neil blew a stray auburn curl out of his eyes and walked towards his broom.

"No practice tonight," Andrew said suddenly, tossing his own broom back into its stand.

Neil stopped, his hand still hovering above his own broom.

"Don't mess with me," Neil said, "I can play,"

"Clearly," Andrew replied drily, looking pointedly at Neil's trembling hand.

"I mean it," Neil insisted, unsure of whether he should be feeling embarrassed or annoyed or grateful, "I can play,"

"Then play by yourself," Andrew told him as he walked towards the exit, "I'm done for the night,"

Neil followed him out, ready to protest, but Andrew was already striding towards the Slytherin changing rooms. Neil sighed, and sat down on the grass, inhaling the cold evening air in long, deep breaths. When Andrew emerged from the changing rooms he gave Neil a bored glance before heading up to the school.

Neil sat there a while longer.

When he finally made his way back to the Gryffindor common room, the party was still going. Neil apologised and excused himself on the basis of not feeling very well, before going to his bunk.

Neil changed, got into bed, and turned off the light. It had been a long day, and he was tired.

Even so, getting to sleep that night was difficult.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um ok one day I will write a longer chapter for this :,)
> 
> hit me up on [tumblr](http://palmetttos.tumblr.com)
> 
> thanks for reading!


	5. Unexpected Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil finally tells his teammates about his and Andrew's practice sessions. Later, he and Andrew have a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. can't believe I haven't updated this in like two months. wow.

It was late October and the very worst of the Autumn chill had settled itself into the bones of Hogwarts. Neil took to pulling on two jumpers in the mornings, wearing a hat, scarf and pair of gloves at all times, and warming by the common room fire in the late evenings. He had even seriously wondered if it would be appropriate to take a blanket to his lessons.

Weeks had passed since the incident with the boggart in the broomshed and Andrew hadn't mentioned it once. In fact, Andrew hadn't mentioned much about anything at all. Aside from the cursory commentary on Neil's moves at practice, and a few grunts here and there during their study sessions, Andrew had been quiet. It suited Neil just fine. He didn't feel much like talking either.

Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw the previous weekend. Aaron had been pissed, but Neil couldn't care less. They were getting better and better with each win, and he couldn't wait to play against Slytherin again.

It was a notion that not all of his teammates shared.

"I just think we're nowhere near the same level," Matt was complaining as he speared his fork through a slice of bacon and slid it onto his plate.

Neil shrugged and started filling his own plate. One of the best things about Hogwarts was the food. As usual, breakfast had appeared that morning after the post was delivered. There were shining, plump sausages, wide fried eggs with golden yolks, terrines of baked beans (Neil's personal favourite), heaps of potato scones and black pudding slices, and fresh orange juice in glass jugs. Neil took a bit of everything and tucked in.

"I think we're in a great position," Dan mused, buttering a slice of toast, "We're so much better than we were last time we played them."

"Well," Allison cut in, " _Some_ of us are."

The three of them glanced at Neil, who was swallowing a mouthful of black pudding.

"What?" He asked, noticing their curious looks.

"How did you get so good so quickly?" Allison continued, pointing a perfectly-manicured finger at Neil, "You scored nearly one hundred points against Ravenclaw. That was more than mine and Dan's combined."

Neil paused, and realised now was the perfect time to tell them. He couldn't think of a good reason to continue hiding it from them.

"I've actually been doing some extra practising," He explained slowly, "In the evenings."

"Well, if it's making you-" Dan began.

"I'm practising with Andrew Minyard," Neil interrupted her, finishing his confession.

They stared at him as if a Bowtruckle had just crawled out of his nose.

"It's not a big deal-"

"Not a _big deal_?!"

"What are you _thinking_?"

"With that _snake_ -"

"This could be so dangerous, Neil."

"I'm getting better and better," Neil managed to interrupt their cries of protest, trying not to sound too defensive, "Isn't that what we need?"

"But- with Minyard?" Dan asked, wrinkling her nose.

"He's-" Neil trailed off, unsure of what the right word was.

"Nice?" Allison supplied sarcastically.

"Helpful," Neil settled on.

"He's on a team with Moriyama, Neil," Matt said, concerned, "You know how Moriyama doesn't really like, well, you know."

"You mean how he hates 'Mudbloods'?" Neil asked matter-of-factly.

His three teammates winced slightly at his use of the word.

"That's exactly it," Allison snapped, "This could all be a plan to humiliate you, _hurt_ you even,"

"I don't think so," Neil protested weakly, "He seems-"

"Friendly?" Allison suggested venomously.

" _Real_ ," Neil said emphatically.

Allison rolled her eyes and Dan and Matt both sighed in unison.

"I know what I'm doing," Neil insisted.

"I hope so," Dan replied.

 

...

 

That night Andrew and Neil met at 9pm for practice, just as they did every night. It was freezing, and their breath created tiny plumes of white mist as they walked to the broom closet.

"Can't you cast a hot-air charm?" Andrew grumbled as they made their way back across the pitch.

"Why can't you?" Neil countered.

"Left my wand upstairs," Andrew told him with a shrug.

"Andrew, you're supposed to have your wand with you at all times," Neil told him, "What if there's an emergency?"

Neil remembered the boggart all of a sudden and wished he hadn't said anything.

"Who cares?" Andrew asked, bored, "Why don't you go report me if you're so bothered?"

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Neil snapped, annoyed.

"The usual," Andrew said, "They're always lecturing me about my grades. Kevin got wind of it and now he won't shut up about it, says he'll kill me if I get kicked off the team. I'm thinking of getting expelled just to spite him. Getting away from here would be an added perk, of course."

"Wow. Nicky was right," Neil muttered mostly to himself.

Andrew straightened and glared at him.

"Right about what, exactly?" He asked.

"He just said you hate magic," Neil explained, rolling his eyes, "Not that I hadn't figured that out."

Andrew ignored him and took to the air.

Their practice was a bit more aggressive than usual. Neil felt like he was being toyed with and he didn't care for it. His mind wandered back to his conversation with his teammates that morning. He _hoped_ none of this was a grand plot on Riko's part. If it were, it wouldn't make sense for Andrew to teach him to play well. Surely if Riko were involved he'd want to keep Neil as useless as possible; it was easier to mock him that way.

For the first time in a while, Neil couldn't score against Andrew. He was distracted. He couldn't stop thinking about why Andrew had struck up this deal between them; none of the possible explanations made any sense. Then, there was the mystery surrounding his disdain for schoolwork, for the school in general. As much as he didn't want to care, Neil was curious. And, of course, Neil was _still_ rattled about that boggart.

"Snap out of it," Andrew called over to Neil, abruptly drawing him out of his thoughts.

Neil shook his head and hurled the Quaffle at Andrew a little harder than intended. Andrew caught it with ease but looked irritated.

"Are we done here?" Andrew asked, letting the Quaffle drop from his hands, and then swooping down towards the ground.

"Why even ask if you're just going to decide yourself?" Neil grumbled as he also began to soar downwards.

Andrew took off ahead of him and Neil sighed. As he was about to start making his way towards the Gryffindor locker room, he noticed Andrew stop.

There was someone else here.

Neil didn't really care. He'd told his teammates and he hadn't been forbidden from continuing his extra practices with Andrew. He couldn't see any point in hiding it from the rest of the school either.

Then, he realised it was Kevin Day.

Kevin Day was Riko's adopted brother, and though he never actively acted like a dickhead, he was always there, at Riko's side. As such, Neil assumed he'd share his brother's prejudices. The fact Kevin grew up in a proudly pure-blood household made him more sure of that.

"What are you doing?" Kevin asked Andrew, folding his arms across his chest.

"Did you lose your sight as well as your brain?" Andrew replied, "We're practising."

"Obviously," Kevin responded, glaring at Andrew, "I've been watching you two for weeks."

The statement took Neil by surprise. If Andrew shared Neil's response, he didn't show it.

"You're usually good," Kevin called across to Neil, "What happened tonight?"

"Why do you care?" Neil asked him, walking up to join them.

"Because it's Quidditch," Kevin replied, as if he were being stupid, "I make it my business to know who's good and who's not."

Neil snorted.

"Although," Kevin said, "A Chaser? Have you considered being a Seeker?"

" _No_ ," Neil answered, shooting Kevin a dark look.

"Why?" Kevin asked, "You're fast, and small-"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Neil snapped, annoyed, "Andrew's smaller than me and nobody says that to him."

"That's because Andrew is the best Keeper in-" Kevin began.

"Decades," Neil finished for him impatiently, "I _know_."

"Regardless, I'm serious about you being good," Kevin insisted, "And you two work well together."

"Who gives a shit?" Neil replied hotly, "We're on different teams."

"This goes beyond all that house rivalry crap," Kevin went on, "Do you not want to play nationally? Go to the Quidditch World Cup?"

Neil actually laughed at that.

"Are you serious?" Neil asked Kevin.

"We're the best this school has to offer," Kevin countered, gesturing to himself and Andrew, "We're definitely headed there. Are you?"

"I might be a little busy," Neil responded drily.

"Doing what?" Kevin asked, narrowing his eyes at Neil, "If you're good, you should think about it. I can help Andrew train you."

"Why?" Neil questioned him, tilting his head to the side slightly. He didn't know what to make of Kevin's comments and subsequent offer, but he knew he didn't like it.

"Because it's _Quidditch_ ," Kevin said again, exasperated.

"You and Riko," Neil said carefully, "You don't people like me."

Kevin shook his head as if Neil were missing the point.

"How do I know this isn't just one big plot to mess with me?" Neil continued, echoing his teammates' concerns from earlier.

Andrew slid his gaze towards Neil then, as if he were suddenly interested in what Neil was saying.

"I'm not Riko," was all Kevin said in response.

Neil sighed.

"Kevin _can_ help," Andrew told him before he walked away, heading for the Slytherin locker room.

"Listen to me," Kevin said, stepping forward to grab the sleeve of Neil's robes as Neil moved to leave, "I don't care that you're a Gryffindor, or a Mudb- _muggle-born_ or whatever. When I go professional I want the best players up there with me. I can help you get better. Just think about it. Just- ask yourself what you really want."

Neil shook off Kevin's hand and jogged across the pitch towards the Gryffindor locker room.

_Ask yourself what you really want_ , Kevin had said.

It seemed so simple, but Neil knew it wasn't.

 

...

 

Andrew waited for him and they went to study in the Room of Requirement. It was set up the same way it always was: fire roaring, hot chocolate being stirred by charmed spoons, blankets piled high.

They got settled, and Neil talked Andrew through the various methods of dream interpretation. Divination just happened to be one of Andrew's least favourite subjects and the entire thing was annoying him.

"Who cares about dreams?" Andrew was complaining, "It's nonsense."

"Your professors don't think it's nonsense," Neil replied with a sigh, "Can you just write this down?"

Andrew conceded and began scribbling on his parchment. Neil watched him write and wondered.

"Can I ask you a question?" Neil asked, after a few minutes.

"I have a feeling you're going to anyway," Andrew replied, tapping his quill against the parchment irritably.

"Why me?" Neil said, finally voicing his curiosity on the matter.

"You'll have to be more specific," Andrew told him, raising an eyebrow.

"Why did you choose me to help you study?" Neil elaborated.

"Because," Andrew started, "Because I need someone to help me improve my grades before I'm kicked out,"

"Uh huh," Neil responded, "And?"

"And you need the practice," Andrew went on, "Otherwise we'll just win every game with zero effort and this year will be even more dull than the last."

" _And_?"

"And nothing,"

But it wasn't nothing. Neil could tell. There was _something_ \- something shimmering slightly underneath the murky surface of it all. Neil just couldn't figure it out yet.

"It's because I notice everything," Andrew said, and his tone had shifted slightly. His hand around the quill had grown still.

Neil narrowed his eyes at Andrew, confused.

"I noticed it the first time I saw you, a couple of years ago, when you were even worse at Quidditch than you are now," Andrew continued, "That haunted look, the one that says, 'this could all be over soon', the one that's certain of impending doom."

Neil swallowed hard, suddenly motionless.

"I hate that look," Andrew muttered darkly, "It's too much. It worms its way inside me. Nobody should feel like that."

"It's none of your business," Neil blurted out, panicked.

"It could be my business," Andrew replied easily. He raised his head, met Neil's eyes with his own, and Neil wasn't sure what to think.

Neil _couldn't_ lean on anybody. His path was already carved out. Attempting to change that path would spell trouble, death. He was a muggle-born wizard, undervalued and unknown. Nobody would know what would happen to him once he left Hogwarts.

He'd told his father that going to Hogwarts would give him the very best magical education. In reality he'd chose it because it was far away from home. He figured he could attempt to enjoy what precious free time he had left.

But he couldn't deny the inevitable, and he couldn't let Andrew Minyard make it his business.

"I'm fine," Neil said eventually, his voice slightly hoarse.

Andrew levelled Neil a look that said he didn't believe him at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is like 99.9% dialogue I can't stop laughing
> 
> a [tumblr](http://palmetttos.tumblr.com) account at tumblr dot com


End file.
